Mom Bombs!!


mom grenade

Sitting at dinner with my mom, made me think back to an episode of Modern Family. In the episode, Luke looks into the camera and smugly says, “Sometimes I like to throw a grenade and run away.” If you missed this episode, it is the one when Gloria announces she is pregnant and Luke decided to plant the idea that the baby will get more attention, to Manny. This verbal grenade is like a real grenade—it carries a punch.

My mother…my sweet beautiful, southern mother, the woman who gave me life; is great a dropping grenades! She is Special Forces level when it comes to them. Like real grenades, verbal grenades can’t be stopped once detonated.

My mother has often dropped grenades about my dating life. My response has always been “I don’t have time to really worry about that.” Which in all honestly…I don’t. Between relocating to Louisville, working full-time, grad school, Junior League, YNPN, Andy, and trying to fit in a work out, I just don’t have the time. However, this has not stopped her from bringing up the subject all the time…yeah, all the time.

Here is the military-like strategy my mother used to get to her point. Trust me, Huck has nothing on her.

Infiltrate behind enemy lines: During dinner she casually starts asking questions about my friends and their families, children, and marriages.

Gain their trust: She then begins to ask about a few of my friends who graduated undergrad close to when I did.

ATTACK: Finally, she narrows in on her target and says “Well, you, Crystal, and Daphne (names changed to protect the innocent) all graduated around the same time and none you are married or dating…what’s up with that?”

My expression afterwards was pretty much this

My reaction was similar to this

Did she really just say that?!? Um, yes she did. What should I say next? How do I handle this? Why can’t I think of anything…I want to do crisis management for a career, and I can’t think of a da#n thing to say to my mother who has just dropped this on me!!!! I’m a communicator da##it! WTH?!?!? As these and other colorful thoughts started to mosh in my head I finally came up with; I think I should really look into getting a new vet for Andy. He keeps looking at his butt.

Does anyone in your life ever drop bombs? Are you a bomb dropper? Please tell.

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8 thoughts on “Mom Bombs!!

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