Life and Lessons

As many of my friends and bloggers I follow settle into married life (some for the second time) and parenthood, I often wonder how they have the conversation about finances and normally personal stuff with their future spouse.  I know that has to be a tough one.  For some reason in the back of my mind I always think…stay on guard because you need to be prepared for when he shows his ass and you have to cut and run (that’s messed up right!!! I know…smh).  I don’t want to think like that, but you know it happens.  Any way along with all the other things to worry about such as I am gaining too much weight, I need to find a gym,  when will I have time to work out, maybe it’s time I change careers, work stuff, and so on and so forth…how does one sit with the person that should be their emotional center and have a serious conversation?

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My issues with not letting people in have guaranteed me never to have those conversations, so I have no frame of reference.

So where all this is leading is to a post by one of my favorite bloggers Rachel Wilkerson.  She is funny, raw, and unapologetic.  Her motto is “Sorry, I’m not sorry,” I love it!  She recently got engaged and has chronicled life since the engagement.  Here is an excerpt ENJOY!

{the lessons} Our Bank Accounts, Ourselves

by RACHEL on JUNE 27, 2012

For the past 18 months or so, I’ve been putting a lot more effort into money management. While my bank account is by no means where I want it to be, and my habits are far from perfect, I feel like I’ve finally gotten to a place wherein I believe that I’ll be able to achieve my financial goals. And from that place, I’ve begun to see that getting out of debt and spending wisely isn’t so different than ending emotional eating (or emotional not eating) habits and getting to a healthy weight. Just like my relationship with food and with my body helps form my body image, I’m realizing that my relationship with money and my bank account has helped form a financial self-image.

I always say that you have to work on your head before you can work on your ass, and now I’m starting to feel that similarly, you have to work on your head before you can work on your bottom line. Women tend to focus on body image and check in regularly to see how theirs is doing. Do I feel confident in my looks? Am I doing right by my body? How do I feel about myself? But it took a while for me to approach my financial situation the same way. Am I confident in my financial choices and future? Am I doing right by my talents? How do I feel about myself?

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