I have been a subscriber to Marie Claire for years…you know back when the lead article actually sent the subject on assignment that covered actual important issues. Yeah, that Marie Claire I was a fan of. Now, it seems like the recycle the same five actresses that look actually alike blond, blue, tried and true. Not that I have a problem with that but I would like a little spice a little flavor…just something more diverse.
Any who, while I have been cleaning out old magazines from the past year; I ran across all the previous months issues of Marie Claire that I have been avoiding like the plague. However, in the August 2011 issue of Marie Claire I ran across a one page article that got me thinking. Seriously, I have been carrying this article around with me for over a week just to examine every word and take it all in. I knew I wanted to blog about this article because the message is just something you never hear about. I have a hard time even believing it’s real (but then again, I had a hard time swallowing He’s Just Not That Into You, too). So after carrying this around a week and after having a conversation with my bestie from another testie, my sister from another mister in from New York; I decided I am about to get incredibly real with you all when I give my opinion of this article.
The article is titled Lovesick? You might have a Legit Illness. The article tells the story of Samara O’Shea after losing the guy she was in love with she entered an emotional dark hole that manifested itself into sadness and physical strain. She explains the feeling she felt before the end of the relationship and then the feelings she felt after the ending of it. I use the term relationship in an unconventional form because, Samara and this guy were never actually a couple. Unfortunately for her she was already in emotionally deep. The article goes into some details about her symptoms then to how she is handling it now with the help of anti-depressants and the help of a doctor who has given the name Limerance to this psychological condition. Limerance is “A man or woman suffering from limerance is in a constant state of compulsory longing for another person,” Wakin tells me over the phone. “It doesn’t matter if their affection is returned; nothing will satiate their need for emotional reciprocation.” Yep, it has a name and doctor a that specializes with the condition.
Well, I tousled around with this a lot. For me this is hard because I have never been that emotionally attached to anyone. When it’s done it’s done; had always been my M.O. and I was okay with that until that one guy, the one that left me like “damn…what just happened here?”. We were not a couple. We had no commitments to each other. We were just friends. We chatted on the phone, e-mailed, and shared looks and smiles; that’s all. But, I had it bad and it came out to those close to me over many drinks and many nights of sushi, sake, and mischief with Ellen C. My friends had no idea I felt that way but I did and it still stings a little when I hear his name and like in the article my stomach drops. My stomach is a little queasy just typing this but oh well, I’m human. I think of him more than I would like too but the analytical side of me knows that I am now thinking of him in the way that I knew him then and like myself I am sure he has changed and grown as a person. I care for him still and wish nothing but the best for him. I have not crossed any lines with these feelings I have maintained my dignity and respect for myself and him. He was very angry in the end and I have respected him enough to not reach out and he has not reached out to me either. I don’t stalk him online or do anything creepy because well– that is just not me. On the other side of all this is really? Could this be real? But, I think it is. Misplaced affection on that person you can not have.
Enjoy the article and let me know what you think.